I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
