Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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