he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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