she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
