I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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