just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
