you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
