forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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