I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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