Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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