theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
