So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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