I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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