Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize