And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
