I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
