My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think i have two assholes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize