Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize