i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
