So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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