I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
