I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
