We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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