Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i think my tv is drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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