i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
