Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
