Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
