you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
