I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
