i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize