Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
