My underwear smells like fireworks.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
