I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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