I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
