I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
