Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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