12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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