5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
