She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
