She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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