Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize