I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
birth control should be required to get into college
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
