Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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