I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
