There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
