you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
