and you said cock pushups were impossible
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
