Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
