Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
