Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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