wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
