You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
