listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
