He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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