i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
