I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
