Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
