i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
