I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
